Secrets
by flameofresolution
Summary: It was weird seeing your body slowly burn to ashes. Seeing your loved ones weeping for you. It all feels so surreal. "You weren't supposed to die Alexander." the angel said "You will be given another chance to live, but in a temporary body. In the end it is up to you if you want to continue living or not. So, do you want to live? Yes or no?" [malec]


**Chapter I: Dead**

{~0~}

It was all too fast. No time to register the pain. All I felt was something slicing through my back, the ground rushing up to me and then darkness.

I thought maybe I just fainted or something, but no. I opened my eyes and find myself standing. My vision setting immediately to my family, crowding over a space. Their faces, by the angel! Their faces twisted in shock and anguish. My heart was threatening to break just by looking at them. Especially, _his_ face. The emotion in his face was wild, like he didn't know what he was gonna feel. It changed from shock to disbelief then finally, sorrow and regret. His usual aura of power and wisdom is gone, replaced by vulnerability. It was like looking at someone you know, but isn't the same person at all.

Growing curious of what they were looking down, I walked to them, stopping right beside Jace. What I saw shocked me.

It was me.

It was me they were looking down. I was lying on my stomach with a dangerous amount of blood pooling around me; A knife embedded, up to the hilt, in my back. I flinched when I realized it was right where my heart was. I look at my hands and I get scared with the fact I can almost see right _through _them!

It was Luke who first snapped into reality; He rushed at my body, fingers at my neck, checking for a pulse that I know doesn't exist anymore. Then next was Jace whose eyes **burned** with indignation, charging at the Fae who threw the dagger. His blade blazed sharply before it pierced through the Fae's chest. Not satisfied of what he has done, Jace twisted the blade and **slowly** sliced up until the neck before jerking hard to cut the Fae the rest of the way.  
Isabelle was next, hands travelling to her mouth to muffle the scream she was about to release. Clary immediately wound her arms around Isabelle, blocking her view of my corpse. To think that my sister has to lose 2 people in one day, I can not imagine the pain she is going through. At least, one of them is alive, albeit with missing memories.

I remember watching as Isabelle try and break free from Clary's grasp, Jace falling at his knees as he grasps the Parabatai rune on his neck, Magnus pulling his knees near him and placing his head at his hand. I followed them around, staring as they get the medical help they need. Everything was blurry after that.

{~0~}

The next thing I know, it was time to burn the bodies. My body was the last to be burnt.

My family and friends wore a blue ribbon around their wrist. (I'm touched at the gesture)  
No one spoke when the torch was lit. Words weren't needed to know how devastated my family was; I could see the dimming eyes of Isabelle and Jace, the tears building up on my mother's face and the quivering of my father's lip.  
I look around and I see Magnus at the far back, clutching a notebook and trying to contain his emotion insides. I want to hug him and tell him it's alright. I want to hug and reassure everyone that it was alright. I knew it was impossible, being a ghost and all. But it hurts to see them like this; so vulnerable and sad.

"Alexander Lightwood" I felt a hand on my shoulder and I immediately jerk away. I turned around, only to face an angel. The angel reminded me of Jace because of the blonde hair and golden eyes. He towered over me and had wings so large that it dragged behind him.  
I would have spoken until I heard Jia saying something. I turned to look at her, just in time to see her throw the torch at the pyre. It immediately went into flames.

It was weird seeing your body slowly burn to ashes. Seeing your loved ones weeping for you. It all feels so surreal.  
"You weren't supposed to die Alexander." the angels said  
"But I'm dead." It was surprising that I still had the voice to reply.  
"Do you know why you died?" he asked. I only shook my head to him.  
"We can give you another chance to live." the angel met my eyes and I felt as if his eyes were burning right through me.  
"It has a catch doesn't it?"  
The angel's lips curled into an amused smile "Of course. But it isn't anything difficult. Would you like for me to elaborate?"  
When I didn't reply, he took it as a yes.  
"We would create a temporary body for you. Different face, different voice. Although some features and your memories will remain."  
"Temporary?"  
"Take this as a test or an insightful journey. One cannot pass to the afterlife with doubts as burdens after all."  
I was taken aback "What? So I'll be alive only temporary?"  
"You can decide whether or not you will stay alive at the end. It also depends on how well you did."  
I scrunch up my nose, confused.  
"I can see you're confused." The angel sighed and crossed his arms "To make it simple: 'Do you want to live?'. Yes or no?"  
"Of course! I want-"  
"There's your answer. I'll be visiting you again soon." The angel suddenly snaps his fingers and my vision turns to white

**A/N: Hope you liked it~! My first TMI multi-chaptered fic. I'm planning of turning this into 3-6 chaptered fic. I'm planning for this fanfic to be a self-discovery of Alec. Btw, this is happening AFTER CoHF. (Almost) everything will be explained in the next chapter.**

**Please review and tell me what you thought about it. Criticism is accepted (especially on grammar and if I have portrayed the characters well so far :)  
See you next time~**


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